You Know You're Addicted To Headphones When...
(adapted from an audiobook listserver list)

Your S/0 comments that those headphones are
growing attached to your head.

The most important relationship in your life is with your headphones.

You have a full selection of earbuds, right left and neutral,
and you're still hanging out in Radio Shack looking for more.

You only feel comfortable when you have on a headset.

You try to figure out whether shampoo will damage your headphones
while you shower.

You keep a backup pair of headphones (and a Walkman)
stashed nearby at all times.

You look forward to insomnia, so you can listen all night.

You start to wonder if there are chlorine-resistant headphones,
so you can listen and swim at the same time.

You hope you'll have an accident so you'll have some
recuperative time to listen.

You keep thinking you can go back to regular stereo anytime.
Really.

You look for the longest checkout line at the grocery store
because you're amazed how good the headphones sound.

You rush out of the car, into the house and put on the headphones
before you even take off your coat.

You actually look forward to doing chores
so you can put on your headphones.

You decide to go on a diet to have more to spend on music
to feed your headphones.

You refuse to leave town without a pair of headphones
(and a Walkman).

Portions c. 1998, Chu Moy
The audiobook list can be seen at Sharon's Cyber Home.